The book is here : Page Nine

Page Nine

Chapter Zero

As for me, the seventy thousand after taxes were two offers, one in New York City, the other in Tampa, Florida. I had been a conformist most of my life, the guy who wanted to belong, be liked and did the safe thing till Sarwar decided to play truth and dare. The odyssey that began with his words took us across the Pacific, the Atlantic and back; put us in the board rooms of the third largest bank and the most admired automobile manufacturer on the planet; and made Yahoo and Reuters call us the same day my apartment owner placed an eviction notice outside my door. It also taught me something much more important – the wisdom of walking away – from kingdoms in our minds and each other.

They say God fashioned paradise after California, which is where I left Sarwar a year and a half later for exactly sixty eight thousand four hundred after taxes. I left because it was time to say good bye and this was one thing they had taught well at school – firm handshake and don’t forget to send a thank you note later. There were no cherry trees, sunny afternoons or old friends at the last rites. I went to the gym, swam a few laps and when I came back it was over. I had washed myself clean of the spirit, doubts and heart break. Only debts remained. An awkward conversation with SM and Denise started the disengagement process. He drove me out to Dana point just past the Ritz at Laguna Nigel. Short hop down steep, creeper lined stairs and we were on a beach that was just a shade lighter than the mess we were in. We walked, listened to the sea breeze, enjoyed the sunshine and talked. The Pacific watched us silently as we chatted about why, why not, faith and our place in the lives that we had put on hold beneath the Californian sky. It didn’t help. I didn’t have the answers he needed; he didn’t know the questions I was answering.

This is our story. There are no happy endings at the end of this book.

Avicena was dead; long live Avicena.

(to be continued...)

The book is here : Page Eight

Page Eight

Chapter Zero

“Is that what they are teaching at business school these days? To walk away from
a shot at a few hundred million for seventy thousand after taxes”

You have never met Sarwar. Sarwar to friends, SM to partners and clients, Mr. Mushtaq to others. Direct, curt and to the point now, attentive and charming a few seconds later. You could predict high tides and phases of the moon, but you could never tell where you stood with him. Take an artist, throw in the right mix of eye, moods, controversy, awkwardness, conflict & color and you will have Sarwar. With an aura of mystique and a hint of mischief in his voice, he loved throwing challenges at unsuspecting audiences. The wiser walked away, the less unfortunate took the bait. I am not sure if it was wisdom, fortune or the absence of both that led to the conversation we had just finished. Looking back I know that the book that follows would never be written if either had prevailed.

The shot at a few hundred million was a business plan that had been written, tested and put aside. We had gotten a decent grade on the class project, which was the first warning sign. In a world of contrarian successes, anything more than a C, should be an immediate stamp of failure. In our infinite wisdom we had shelved it because every single member of the original team who had touched the plan had chosen certainty over ambition. Arno was off to CSFB in London, Ken to Hudson River Inlay, Kamar to BCG in Boston, Jun to Korea and Daniel to the public policy school down the street.

(to be continued)

The book is here : Page Seven

Page Seven

Personally for me the book has been great therapy. It finally helped me come to terms with my personal failure, allowed me to review days past with a more disinterested pair of eyes, as well as chalk out the path for a new adventure that has now become Alchemy. A number of individuals, friends, and family (primarily), paid for this joyride. Simple words will never be enough to thank them for their generosity, understanding and support over the last three decades. Rather than naming them one by one just like to say thank you to all of you who have pushed me when I was ready to quit and asked me to step back when I was set to die trying.

Jawwad Ahmed Farid
31st March 2005

(to be continued)

The book is here : Page Six

Page Six

The love letters were a problem. Five moves in five years had taken their toll in form of misplaced diaries, storage boxes & lives. The only constant was data backup. I couldn’t do love letters, but I could certainly do emails. Drawn from backups taken in the last days of rushed moves in London, New York, California & Karachi. With the help of a little context I have used these emails to tell the Avicena story my way – not words but bits – some random, some deliberate. In the hope that these choice bits can help resurrect in your minds the setting in which they were originally written.

That is just Part one. In Part two, I take all my stories, and mix and match them with lessons that I have learnt. My top ten list of “do not do’s” a.k.a “things to do in Denver when you are dead” list. If you hate emails feel free to skip part one and go straight to part two. If you ever find yourself wondering how and where I came up with a lesson in part two, head back to the emails and try and figure out exactly where the lesson was learnt. If you hate circular references in excel or oblique treasure hunts, this book is not for you.

(to be continued...)

The book is here : Page Five

Page Five

Why the book? Well for one every alternate week I meet someone who has an interest in my past because he or she is planning to start something of their own and would love to have a roadmap or a cheat sheet. Rather than handing out informal advice distilled on the spot, I thought insights collected over the last three years in moments snatched from sleep, work, travel, family and boredom would be far more reliable. I didn’t want to write a prescriptive text since they never did me any good. So I chose the next best thing and wrote a descriptive one. Many such tomes are dedicated to success, money, networks, connections and driven teams of professionals who could. This one focuses on those who couldn’t. Just like the first book I read where the hero actually died and was not miraculously resurrected (Marathon Man, William Goldman[1]). I wanted to tell the real story. Not like a bad B movie held together by a collage of borrowed and unlikely plots themes, but like old love letters drawn from forgotten recesses of our lives.

[1] William Goldman sold out and did just that in Brothers, the sequel to Marathon Man in which Scylla is whisked off from the scene of his death and given a new life.

(to be continued)

All those demos and what were they good for....

Closed our largest deal to date last week. In classical idly pidly technology company format, first demo to the client was done in September 2004, second in November 2004, third in February 2005, fourth in March 2005, fifth in March 2005 and the sixth and final in April 2005. Decision to speak with us as a serious vendor (despite our idly pidly status) was taken somewhere in March. Side by side with demos contract related negotiations went on for another two months and we finally signed in mid May.

Great win for us because the deal will put our Market Risk solution (BIS requirements) on the domestic map and give us (Inshallah) a great reference site. Looking back it wasn't just us. A lot of people over the last two years contributed in terms of introductions, ideas, guidance, prayers, references and moral support. Thank you all of you. You know who you are.

Also in typical idly pidly fashion we have put three high power specialists in charge of different aspect of the engagement. Very fortunate to find these resources in the current tight market for technology talent but once again prayers came in handy.

Did I ever mention the power faith has in your life once you turn entreprenurial.

Pss. News release with more details to be posted on the alchemya website in a few days.

The book is here : Page Four

Page Four

The door that I opened took me to Columbia Business School and beyond. Did I find professional paradise? I don’t know. I went looking for answers to questions and found more difficult questions - there was no easy answer. Which is one way of presenting this book – this book is not about answers, quick, easy or otherwise. It doesn’t document a sure fire to succeed or fail, get rich or famous. Just my life as it happened, circa 1999 – 2005. Six years that marked a full circle of dumping a sizable paycheck, family and familiarity, moving to London, working for Goldman Sachs, starting the MBA at Columbia, living on campus two streets short of Harlem, having a blast writing “the” business plan, picking uncertainty over routine, escaping to California, burying venture number one, two and three, returning to family and familiarity and then repeat. Nothing profound, deep or insightful, just the stuff life, not dreams, is made of.

(To be continued)

The book is here : page three

Page Three

Eight years ago, in March 1997, a combination of events changed all that. The first was the acceptance of Nida (my younger sister) at MIT, Harvard College, Caltech and Cornell after her A levels (University of Cambridge equivalent of high school). MIT and Harvard gave her fully funded offers to complete four years of education at their expense in Boston. My family and I found out one fine morning at four am when Nida woke all of us up by banging on our doors and jumping up and down on the floor with an athletic ability that had not been witnessed before in our family. This was the first hint toward something in our mutual gene pool which would be amenable to attending a school with the right pedigree in the US. Quickly after that came a chance meeting with a friend who suggested that armed with an Ivy League MBA, there was a higher path, way above the one that I was currently on, which could be explored irrespective of my decision to come back home to Pakistan after graduation. As it happens with destiny, this bit of inspiration (Nida) and bit of greed (friend) was soon after followed by conflicting elderly advice by two individuals I respected. The first confirmed that a top ranked MBA would open doors that I was not privy to in my sheltered existence and the second vehemently denied the possibility of any such rumors. When I look back now, I think the denial sealed it. Take a twenty six year driven alpha male; first tell him professional paradise exists on the other side of the door that he is reaching for; then tell him there is no door and then watch.

(To be continued)

The book is here... Page two

Lets do page two today also

Page Two

Author Note

During my earlier academic and professional life, I never thought I was destined for an MBA at an Ivy League school, that I would ever take the plunge into Startup Land, or that I would fail miserably at a number of attempts to earn a living by cutting myself a check. To a large extent these thoughts had been reinforced by my father’s career as an entrepreneur. His choice of livelihood left two strong but conflicting impressions on my young mind. First working for himself gave a lot of personal, professional and financial flexibility to him that everyone envied. Unfortunately the downside was unpredictable timing of an income stream that at times left us wondering as a family if we would be better off with regular paychecks. As an adult, the paycheck became the first goal I had to achieve with my academic and professional choices and risking that by self employment just wasn’t kosher.

After paying my college dues and successfully handling the challenges facing a young and rising consultant, I thought I was well on my way to securing that goal for life. With a bachelor in computer science and an Associateship of the Society of Actuaries (ASA) under my belt, there were still a number of milestones to reach on my career calendar but the path and the pace were both right. I was on the coveted partnership track with my firm, managed a team of 13 professionals earning three times their gross and overhead expenses, and ran a portfolio of eight international clients that kept on coming back with repeat business. For someone just a few years out of school, I was quite happy and satisfied with the direction my life was taking.

(to be continued...)

The book is here.. Page One

Well here it is... The long awaited serialization of the still unpublished work in progress that is my book.

One page every week. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Here goes nothing...

Page One

“Behind every successful man is a penniless wife”


Dedications

To loser husbands and loving wives;

To Fawzia for saying yes;

To my Ammi(s) for their support and prayers;

To Abba for believing despite our failures;

To Whitney, Biggadike, Kens (Bates, Craddock,
Whiskey) Kamar and Arno for asking “Why not?”;

To Sarwar and Denise for Avicena.

Retention and notice periods

In most cases if you survive the first two months, you will last at our shop. Hence my tendency of not giving any real work to a new hire for the first two weeks. Instead we give low intensity tasks and see how the new kid on the block performs when it comes to doing ok work. I have found that candidates who do high quality low intensity work will also do high quality high intensity work. If you can't handle low intensity tasks because they are not high profile, visible, rocket science, you are not fit to handle rocket science. Quality professional work is not an attribute that you can be taught, it has to be ingrained in your personality from day one. In the immortal words of Mr. Miyagi (Karate Kid fame) - "Hands On, Hands Off"

The other interesting habit that I picked up from Shane and Iqbal Salim, two of my previous bosses was the golden rule about notice periods. If you want to leave for something better, leave. Don't hang around, extend your stay and turn bitter. Two weeks is long enough if you are doing something critical. If you are not doing something critical then just leave. The only exceptions to this rule are planned departures. If you are off to school or a road trip across europe for a year and are leaving primarily to take a break from life, stay as long as you want.